As a child I was happy. I can still remember to this day the way it felt to be care free and full of wonder. As I’ve grown older I’ve noticed that nothing really amazes me anymore. It was this coupled with the passing of my Grandma that fueled a sense of hopelessness deep inside of me. The world, it seemed, was cold and dark.
With the summer of 2010 came a sense of rejuvenation. I quit my horrible job. I broke up with my succubus girlfriend. And I headed to my home down to blow my unemployment checks on partying. Fuckin’ great times, man. The freedom of 2010 was just the thing I needed to get me back to the light.
I returned to my studies in the fall with two new roommates. My best friend and his girl friend. It’s funny how you can know things are a bad idea cognitively; you give advice and recommend that others ought not engage in such tumultuous ordeals, and yet when it comes to one’s self we somehow believe we are above it all. With that said: never, ever, ever, move in with your best friend and his girlfriend. It will be problems.
Since I have begun the practice I have disciplined my thinking. Frustrations creep up during meditation, but the calm allows me to look at the situation objectively and asses my own perception. Since my motives are almost exclusively egocentric: who am I to judge the wants, needs, and desires of others? Furthermore, since any perceived infringement on me by another is just a case of my ego vs “others” ego neither side seeks truth. The truth is we sometimes disagree. We can not always change that, but we can always seek to understand. Acceptance of this truth is what meditation has gotten me.