As I lay in my room with the darkness around me, I realized yet another round of headaches would mean lost time and wages were to follow. It’s something I cannot afford, having my wages triple-garnished and insurance being so expensive my take-home would be nil for two weeks. I awaited the darkness and depression to come. But instead, in my illness, I meditated and found myself back in my canoe with the dogs around me and peace. I began to realize that chronic illness was part of my life. It is part of me. I see myself as an individual and I forgive myself for being sick. It is OK. There is nothing I can do about it. If I lose my house, I have done everything I can to be healthy. I forgive myself. Somehow, I will find a way to survive. Life will go on. The darkness recedes and forgiveness takes over. Life is hard, but somehow I will find the strength of forgiveness and leave the darkness behind.
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