A canoe in the BWCA

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As I lay in my room with the darkness around me,  I realized yet another round of headaches would mean lost time and wages were to follow.  It’s something I cannot afford,  having my wages triple-garnished and insurance being so expensive my take-home would be nil for two weeks.  I awaited the darkness and depression to come.  But instead, in my illness,  I meditated and found myself back in my canoe with the dogs around me and peace.  I began to realize that chronic illness was part of my life.  It is part of me.  I see myself as an individual and I forgive myself for being sick.  It is OK.  There is nothing I can do about it.  If I lose my house,  I have done everything I can to be healthy.  I forgive myself.  Somehow,  I will find a way to survive.  Life will go on.  The darkness recedes and forgiveness takes over.  Life is hard, but somehow I will find the strength of forgiveness and leave the darkness behind.

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