Just a Thought


I am in a constant state of thought. There isn’t a time when I’m not thinking about something. Even if I try to not think about something, I’m focusing on not thinking therefore I am still in a way thinking. My overactive mind has found ways of getting me into trouble. My thinking leads to over-thinking, over-thinking leads to worry, and worry leads to fear. It’s a downward spiral and I’m trapped in it. I begin saying things I don’t mean, I end friendships with people and then regret it later, and eventually I just give up on things all together for fear of whatever it may be, not working out. My thinking leads to fear and  my constant thinking, in a way, leads me to live in constant fear.

Meditation has proved extremely difficult for me. I can’t turn off my mind and acknowledging the thought and letting it go doesn’t work. I end up dwelling on the thought or thoughts instead. Closing my eyes during meditation greatly helps because all I see is darkness which allows me clear my mind better than if my eyes were open.  This combined with counting of the breaths allows me to meditate peacefully. Without the counting of the breaths method, I don’t think I could handle meditation. I would never be able to get the benefits out of it that I have been receiving so far.

Meditating in the way that I do for someone with such an overactive mind as mine has really helped. Counting the breaths keeps your mind moving and keeps whatever thoughts you have in the back of your mind away,  for the most part at least. Meditating in this way has worked wonders for me so far. I feel really relaxed afterward, I’m not as worried about things as I might have been prior to meditation, I feel at peace and more calm. My mind seems to be more in balance. And although the thoughts do come back eventually or new ones arise, they just stay thoughts. Something to ponder over without freaking out or worrying about whatever it may be.

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