Exam. Exam. Exam. It was a continuation because this is what I meditated about this morning. I always panic about them because of how important it is not to fail. And what if I fail? There’s no more money. Money, how will I survive?
I grip my pen. Terrified. I’m always terrified now. Since he quit on me. Since he quit talking to me. Do you know what that’s like to lose an extension of yourself?
“Shake it off…” I say to myself.
Alone.
“You’re not alone,” I whisper, “you have your mom, and grandma, and the dogs.” … but not him.
I used to be okay with the future, whatever would happen. Now it leaves me terrified.
This exam makes me terrified. It is so important. It will decide whether I go on, or am stuck in this town. I meditate on the fact the Goddess laid out my Choice Paths long ago. But which for me? This exam has a choice of its own. I want better. This will decide if things will be better. I just want to know she’ll be okay. We’ll be okay.

Advertisements

About ldpuprazr

I am a puppy raiser, a student, and a composer of words. I also am working on becoming an Orientation and Mobility instructor for the blind and visually impaired.
This entry was posted in Work. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s