“Someday love will find you. Break those, chain that bind you…” 6:30 AM that songs starts playing. Time to wake up. The worst part of my day. I don’t want to wake up. I just want to sleep all day every day, forever.
I wake up early every day to get to work by 7:00 AM. I take the early shift because no one else wants to, but it needs to be done, so I work. Then I head out to the college to go to class. Not because I want to, but because my parents want me to. I enjoy my classes, but I don’t have to time to put in the effort I want. If I sat down and did all my work as well as I could and actually be proud of it, I would not have time for rehearsal. Rehearsal is the best part of my day. At rehearsal, not everyone feels the need to show up. How can we get anything done? After rehearsal, I have friends and a boyfriend that want to hang out. I have to make a choice who to spend time with. Whichever choice I make always leaves me feel like I am missing out somewhere else.
I love my friends and spending time with them, but they want to have late parties on nights that I have to work the next day. Then my boyfriend wants to stay up talking about everything that is going on in his life and about my day. By the time I can ever get to sleep it is close to 2 AM, if not later. I do not blame my friends, I could say no, but I have fun spending time with them even if it means not sleeping.
When sleeping I get to dream of being anywhere I want to be, doing anything I want to do, because I want to do it. It is the world I miss spending time with. Even when I do get enough sleep, on those rare occasions, I hate waking up. It’s like I’m leaving a place that is all my own to join a world where I am bound by obligations.