I remember swimming freely under the skies of Clearwater, Fl, music playing softly, warm breeze, clear open view of the stars and sky. My friends close by and yet all of us in our own space. I remember the feeling of complete relaxation and peace. Alone in, and yet so connected to the world. If that could be my nights for the rest of my life I would surely be punished in the afterlife for enjoying it so much.
I remember my eyelids freezing together and the snot freezing in my nose. Being Bundled up in warm clothes could not stop the icy sting in my lungs from running in the cold weather. The smells of caribou soup in the pot on the stove, and musty houses. Being cuddled up like rabbits as the five of us girls shared one room. I remember the fights, the love, and the need to leave my remote Alaskan village. Now I am envious of my mother for being there. Shes never loved Alaska or the native culture like I have. I will go back there.
I will go back to Florida and Alaska. Alaska and Michigan are my home. Niether one or the other is better. I love them both and always miss the one I am not in.
I remember hanging out on the beach at 2 am. The sky still a dusky color. The sun wont set tonight. Sean’s hand in mine. We scootch forward and slide down the cliff. We were up to no good just being teenage kids. Making traffic stop, taking about sex and how parents sucked. How anyone let a group of seven teens just roam the streets all summer in the land of the midnight sun I will never understand. We had a blast, grew up little, felt a lot, loved hard, and fell even harder that summer. Teeter tottering on the line between adults and kids. We thought that life was just great one day and miserably unbearable others. There were boys and girls, cigarettes and drugs, firecrackers, the beach and parties. It was a time I rarely think about anymore. I was wild and crazy. I wouldn’t change it but I would never go back.