Assesing Progress

Fountain pen nib

Fountain pen nib

I took a survey in  Chemistry class yesterday about my experience at WSCC. I will concede to being in a poor mood yesterday and I may have taken the wrong assessment of the survey, but in my opinion the questions were asked in a biased way and left me no room for explanation. Some of the questions were about how I viewed others, and was able to have discussions, and how my classes at West Shore prepared me for personal life, and my career and such. I realized that a good deal of my classes have helped open my mind some more but none as much as Mindful Living.

I have earned 52 credits towards a degree that I now know I will be swallowed up in if I continue pursuing. Nobody ever asked me why I was going for that degree, or what was underneath the initial drive, including myself. I was so into the mindset that I needed to get back into college, I needed to find a way to get a career, that I just started moving forward.

It’s not that I regret taking any of my classes, because I love school. I realize that almost everyone changes majors a time or two, and its not the colleges job to help you, it would be nice if they did. It’s that now that I have it figured out and they did this survey, nothing in it asks which class helped you figure things out and made the most of helping you in later classes. They listed and questioned all these orientation classes and preparatory workshops and all I wanted to do was take my fountain pen and scrawl in huge cursive “Mindful Living Class is what students need!”

Now, I realize that mindful living isn’t for everyone. That a person will have to have an open mind, a willingness to trust the process, and a desire to really make the most of the class to get the most benefits out of it. Maybe I took this class at the right time in my life and that’s why it seems to resonate so well with me, maybe I would have always been receptive to this class. Regardless, I wish it had been the first class I took.

To have been able to permission to take time to work on me. To have known the benefits of meditation,  journaling, keeping quiet, to have practiced the Loci method of memorization, to be able to focus. I think it would have cut down on my stress levels, I wouldn’t have spent so much time take classes that were not needed at that time. I cant imagine I would have dropped as many classes as I did with these skills. I think of the things I spent so much time trying to memorize, the fear and mortification at speaking in front of others, and the constant overwhelming feeling I had a times, the judgment I always perceived coming from all directions, the English papers that I struggled with because I was so scared to let others know who I was and what was inside of me. I don’t attest that everything would be different, but that I would have been more prepared. More accepting of myself and of others, and of the things that I can learn from the most unexpected places in the most unexpected ways.

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